Some people can feel ashamed of having problems with anger. Anger Management requires understanding first. Problems with anger can come about for many different reasons, depending on how long you have had such problems.
As children, we may not have been taught to handle anger or frustration well. We may have grown up in difficult circumstances or, the opposite, not having had to cope with too many life’s difficulties (so not having had a chance to practice anger management skills).
Alternatively, sometimes there is just too much going on. We lose our ability to express anger well & constructively. The difficulties may be caused by underlying unresolved problems, e.g., with stress, trauma, PTSD. We may feel in need of ways to handle frustration and anger so that our words and actions are not destructive to these around us. We may need to allow ourselves to learn to feel other feelings, underneath the anger, like sadness and fear, that we find even harder-to-handle.
Meet with a non-judgemental Clinical Psychologist to think through together how your problems with anger have come about and the best way to change now. Overcoming underlying problems leading to anger will often lead to the anger problems dissolving away. At times, understanding can lead to change. Sometimes, re-visiting old skills or learning new skills may also be helpful.
Feeling angry can make you feel temporarily strong in the moment but takes so much out of you and can lead to feeling bad afterwards.
The cost of avoiding confronting the problem and delaying seeking help may be too high a price to pay. You may be in a downward spiral of being angry and hard on yourself.
Exploring taking the first step to change, although hard, can help you find the courage to change; perhaps discovering other ways to express yourself, to feel better, for a better life yourself (and perhaps for others too).
Written by © Dr Jurai Darongkamas, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, (with over 35 years’ experience). The above has been written to provide a brief overview for the reader. It should not be used as a basis for any action until after obtaining a professional opinion about your unique difficulties, strengths, circumstances, life history, etc.