Bereavement / Grief
When we lose someone, it’s hard; no matter if it was sudden or anticipated.
It could be that the person was, “my other half”, “my right arm”. If we were very close to him/her, the loss and emptiness may feel vast and unmanageable. Grief and the grieving process can be experienced in so many different ways. A whole range of feelings can be experienced. You can yearn so much for the person (or other), you have loved/lost. Or, if we had mixed feelings in our relationship to them, there may be additional feelings to juggle with. At times, it can seem too hard.
People can feel shock and numbness “in a daze", overwhelming sadness, feeling drained, angry or guilty. We can feel stuck in the grieving process (Complex Bereavement).
We can do what we can to keep our heads above water, to keep going yet we all could benefit from space to truly grieve.
Stages of grief are proposed to include acceptance of your loss, experiencing the pain of grief, adjusting to life without your loved one and redirecting your energy anew. People also say “It seems to come and go in waves.”
Seeing a genuine, accepting, warm, Clinical Psychologist to work through your grief and any barriers preventing you from grieving will help.
There is no need to feel you have to jump off the deep end, into the pool of sadness and feel at risk of drowning. Let your Clinical Psychologist help you to walk around the edge of your pool of emotions, to gently test the water and then for you to work out how to allow yourself to go through the mourning process, in a way that’s do-able for you.
Written by © Dr Jurai Darongkamas, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, (with over 35 years’ experience). The above has been written to provide a brief overview for the reader. It should not be used as a basis for any action until after obtaining a professional opinion about your unique difficulties, strengths, circumstances, life history, etc.