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Difficulties managing your emotions

We can feel our emotions so strongly. This can be directed internally at oneself or outwards towards others. Sometimes, people have put their emotions in a box and pushed the lid down so hard that she/he have trouble feeling anything at all, so they miss out on happy feelings.

If you have feelings from unprocessed, unresolved issues in your life, including traumas, it would be helpful to make sure that you have emotional self-management strategies in place, that work for you, before opening up too deeply with a therapist. Sometimes, having counselling for how to handle feelings isn't enough. You and your Clinical Psychologist can plan for such work, once you explain your difficulties in the assessment appointment/s.

Here are so many different ways to learn to be with your feelings. Your Clinical Psychologist and you can try those most likely to suit you as a person. This will require some practice on your side but once you start to feel the benefit, many people believe it’s worth it and the practice itself becomes less effortful.

On the other hand, many people find that once they work on the underlying unresolved issues then the difficult-to-manage feelings start to fade away by themselves.

Thus, agreeing a therapy plan with your Clinical Psychologist is important.

It is helpful to try to be as honest and open as possible in your therapy so that the Clinical Psychologist fully understands how things are for you. For example, if something feels too embarrassing or painful for you to talk about, please share that there is something you don’t feel ready to say yet.

Written by © Dr Jurai Darongkamas, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, (with over 35 years’ experience). The above has been written to provide a brief overview for the reader. It should not be used as a basis for any action until after obtaining a professional opinion about your unique difficulties, strengths, circumstances, life history, etc.


Clinical Psychology Service