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Issues relating to early life experiences/childhood

I hate to admit it but as a child, I used to sometimes wish that my parents weren’t my parents”.

Our upbringing affects us. We can carry life's “baggage”, have a “chip on our shoulder”. This can be linked to specific life-changing Traumas (with a capital T) or, a series of life traumas, day-to-day events that can still impact us negatively today. Talking with a Clinical Psychologist can help us understand more about the influences that have shaped us to become the person we are today. We all carry messages (which may be out of our immediate awareness) about what’s acceptable, what we should aim for in life, what counts as success, what the rules for living are, etc. Therapy with a psychologist can help to recognise and question the usefulness of this internal voice, to overcome any difficulties from childhood. If there was no deliberate intent to harm, it’s not necessary to blame anyone - reflecting on your experiences can help give helpful perspective.

People can decide to have therapy for themselves. They feel that it’s time. Others start seeking help because they are determined that their own child/children will have a different experience growing up.

Talking it through, to develop a more objective eye, a helicopter view, for when any of the above issues from childhood operate is rewarding and helpful. Developing a plan for change helps to take us forwards.

Written by © Dr Jurai Darongkamas, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, (with over 35 years’ experience). The above has been written to provide a brief overview for the reader. It should not be used as a basis for any action until after obtaining a professional opinion about your unique difficulties, strengths, circumstances, life history, etc.

Please also see pages on Attachment difficulties (Difficulties bonding & getting close to others & relationship problems), Traumas and PTSD (if applicable).


Clinical Psychology Service