When someone is struggling with their mental health, it’s natural to want to offer advice, find a solution or make things better. You may be a natural “problem solver” tempted to “spring into action”.
However, sometimes, what someone needs first is simply to feel heard.
World Mental Health day 2026
This year’s World Mental Health Day theme is “Lived experiences heard: real voices, real change.” It reminds us not only of the importance of listening to people’s experiences, but also of ensuring that their voices help shape decisions about their mental healthcare.
Different ways people approach an initial consultation
In our work at National Clinical Psychology Service, we hear how differently people approach their initial free consultation (when they want to find out about seeing one of our independent Clinical Psychologist colleagues).
Some are quite clear about what they’re looking for. They may have researched different psychological therapies or been advised to consider a particular approach or combination of approaches. They might give us just a brief outline of their difficulties and their wellbeing before moving on to discuss the options available.
Others begin by describing what they’ve been going through and find themselves talking quickly and much more freely; the words seem to just tumble out and there is tremendous relief that goes with that… Sometimes, people also tell us it’s the first time they’ve felt able to speak openly without feeling judged, even in a brief call.
Others describe something particularly painful; feeling that they have no one in their lives they could talk to or, when they try to talk about themselves or their difficulties, nobody really hears them or wants to listen.
Sometimes, listening also means paying attention to the quality of the silences, and to what someone may be finding difficult to say.
During an initial consultation, I might notice a pause, a change in someone’s tone of voice or a struggle to find words. Perhaps the person is upset, finding it difficult to put their feelings into words, or simply needing a little time to gather their thoughts. Rather than assuming what a silence means or rushing to fill it, it’s important to make space for it and, where appropriate, gently explore what the person may be experiencing.
When listening can be especially important
For people experiencing suicidal thoughts, this can be especially significant. Some describe becoming very selective about who they confide in, having previously found that people they thought they could trust became distant or immediately moved into problem-solving mode.
That urge to ‘jump to the rescue’ often comes from genuine concern, and/or sometimes from the listener’s own fear or uncertainty about how to respond. Yet, however well-intentioned, this response can leave the person feeling that their experience hasn’t really been heard.
Of course, when someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, their safety matters enormously, and there may be times when more immediate support or action is needed. We have a duty of care to act so it’s important to really listen to hear; to try to understand how someone is feeling.
Yet listening is not the same as doing nothing. Listening without judgement, making space for someone’s experience and taking time to understand can themselves be important ways of offering support.
Why being heard matters in psychological therapy
Being heard is also fundamental to psychological therapy.
As we explain in our article, What is a psychological formulation?:
“A Clinical Psychologist works collaboratively with you to draw up this unique Psychological Formulation. You bring your lived experience and are the expert on yourself.”
To develop that shared understanding, we need to be able to listen carefully and genuinely hear what life has been, and is, like for you. Your experiences, your perspective and what matters to you are all important in understanding your difficulties and deciding together on the way forward.
Read more about this collaborative approach in our article:
What is a psychological formulation? – National Clinical Psychology Service
Further reading: how good listening skills support mental health
This World Mental Health Day, we’re also sharing a useful new article from the Mental Health Foundation about how good listening skills can support someone’s mental health and wellbeing.
It’s a reminder that we don’t always need to have the answers. Sometimes the most helpful place to start is by listening.
How good listening skills can support someone’s mental health and wellbeing – Mental Health Foundation
Read the Mental Health Foundation article
If you need urgent mental health support in England, you can contact NHS 111 and select the mental health option. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. See the NHS guidance on urgent mental health help.
Author: Dr Jurai Darongkamas,
Consultant Clinical Psychologist
For World Mental Health Day 2026
Contact page here
